Prisonlandia, part 6
Chow Time and Commissary!
So, with all the good news about intake and bus rides, you’re probably anxious to discuss food. Chow, depending on what unit you are assigned, can be good most of the time or it can be horrible on a consistent basis. I hope you like beans, bread, and corn because you’ll be pummeled into submission with these things. There is also a lot of pork straight from the pig farms of TDCJ, yet despite the fact that pork is in ample supply, there is no bacon. What kind of sick and twisted people try to pork you to death but offer no bacon? WTF?
I hope you’re not a picky eater – because you’re in for a disappointment. If you have diet concerns or allergies, your selection can be modified slightly and if you prefer a meatless tray there will be plenty of sliced cheese or peanut butter. Unless you’re in your 20’s or have the metabolism of a hummingbird, it will be a challenge to eat for optimal health while in Prisonlandia due to excessive carbs, starches and minimal protein. However, it can be done if you are disciplined and only eat your three meals a day and workout regularly.
Hopefully, while you are in the county jail or in Prisonlandia you can afford to “make store” which means you can purchase things from the Commissary which is basically overpriced, highly processed junk food. The only necessary items available on the Commissary are, in my opinion, coffee and deodorant – without one I’ll stink and without the other I’ll go crazy. However, once you see the meals in Harris County Jail, you will want to purchase commissary if possible. Not only will the extra food help with hunger but it will also assist with therapy (eating the stress away!) The standard currency in the county jail and Prisonlandia is Ramen soups, but I was never really into soups - I preferred sweets and cookies. When I was in the county and experiencing huge levels of stress, my go-to snack was a Honey Bun Sandwich which consists of a iced honey bun with a cherry Danish, two peanut butter cups, rice crispy treat, peanut butter, an oatmeal raisin cookie, then topped with another honey bun. And no, I don’t have diabetes.
Ever wonder what all is in those ramen soups? Take a look:
Oh, did I mention pancakes? Endless mounds of pancakes as far as the eye can see. I was quickly greeted with pancakes when I was temporarily housed at the Byrd Unit in Huntsville after first coming into the system. Breakfast. Lunch. Dinner. Nothing but pancakes. I suppose it's great if you want to bulk up and sleep all day, but it can quickly become unbearable. One day while eating my meal of pancakes, I thought back to an experience I had while still working for HPD and one of the stranger calls I had ever responded to. A mother called in one morning and explained that she was having issues with her ten-year-old son. I arrived on scene and began talking with the mother and learned that the boy was incessantly demanding pancakes and would talk about nothing else. Mom was super frustrated, and I had my doubts until she showed me a stack of pancakes that she had cooked for breakfast in response to his odd behavior. She also said he was being a little too rough with his younger sister, so obviously the kid had something going on, right? I attempted to talk to him and thought that maybe the sight of a police officer would “straighten” him up. Nope. “I want pancakes!” he emphasized to me as a response to everything I said to him. Over and over like a busted record, this kid droned on about pancakes. The paramedics checked him out and he appeared to be fine, so I sat him in the patrol car (he was not under arrest) and drove him to the psych department at a local hospital where he could get a mental evaluation. Even in the car as I drove, he continued to demand pancakes. I’m not sure what ever happened to that kid or if he ever got his pancakes, but I realized as I sat in the chow hall at the Byrd unit, I sure did. I wondered at that moment, if perhaps that kid was some sort of soothsayer and was attempting to warn me of the road ahead. Hmm.
If you are fortunate enough to have money on your books (Inmate Trust Fund), then more than likely you will make a visit to the commissary on a regular basis to buy things like chips, cookies, coffee, hygiene, and more than likely, a lot of soups (seen above). If you have discipline then you’ll only buy what you need or what is healthy (see the list of “healthy” items available on commissary) but as I learned during my time, sometimes you just need junk food for therapeutic reasons regardless of whether fitness is a concern. Word of caution though: Watch your sugar levels and blood pressure and walk out of Prisonlandia better than when you arrived. Taking medications isn’t a green light to eat whatever you want. Watch what you eat, exercise, and take as few medications as possible. Now, let me step down from my soapbox and acknowledge that the great thing about commissary is the fact that it’s something to look forward to, where the inmates actually get to choose what they want and spend money like a regular person and then have the “comfort” of having something in their locker. “Commissary is Necessary!” is a phrase you will most likely hear and while not exactly necessary for inmates, it can as I previously mentioned, help time go by. If you’re lucky and go twice a month (two spending periods) then you’ll spend roughly $210.00 per month. Some guys spend a lot more. However, let’s look at the commissary through the eyes of another perspective, that of The State.
Shall we break it down?
Number of inmates in TDCJ: 110,000 – 120,000
Percentage of those who go to commissary regularly: 30% (conservative estimate of 110,000 inmates). 110,000 x .30 = 33,000 inmates per month
52,000 inmates x $105.00 (full two week spend) = $3,465,000
$3,465,000 x 2 (two spends per month) = $6,930,000
$6,930,000 x 12 (each month of year) =$83,160,000 per year or $756 per inmate per year. Not including additional monies from non-spend items and ecoms that are purchased by family and friends. Who ever said crime doesn’t pay?
*** I actually did the above math with made-up numbers. Then I actually researched it and found a more concrete total, I wasn’t too far off.
The Texas Department of Criminal Justice (TDCJ) commissary generates an estimated $100 million in annual sales. In 2009, TDCJ commissaries made a profit of about $30 million on gross sales of $94.9 million, according to Prison Legal News. This profit is primarily used for recreational and educational materials for Prisonlandialites. (https://www.Prisonlegalnews.org/news/2010/nov/15/thats-a-lot-of-honeybuns-texas-Prison-commissaries-a-95-million-a-year-business/)
Plain and simple: TDCJ is making 30 million a year off of incarcerated men and women.
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