Prisonlandia Introduction, part 2

As this grim reality began to set in, I began to feel like a man without an identity, a man who served no purpose and whose funds were quickly dwindling and it didn’t help that I was still drinking heavily and going online to deal with my stress. Each time that things began to get better, they would take a bad turn – I couldn’t get a break anywhere and this only propelled me toward more drinking, pornography, and inappropriate behavior where I continued to make poor decisions. Oh, and did I mention that all during this time I was also heavily using prescription testosterone without appropriate cycles? As a result, a new man began to emerge – an angry and bitter man who was emotionally unstable and unpredictable. One day I would be angry, the next depressed and sad, then happy, and the day after that I would cry and listen to The Cure all day. In hindsight, it certainly had to be one of the worst mid-life crisis situations ever documented. You think I’m joking about the midlife crisis thing? I traded in my Subaru for a Camaro SS and had a girlfriend half my age. Midlife Crisis! 

Just a few short months later I found myself sitting in the Harris County Jail charged with Stalking, Violation of a Protective Order, Evading Arrest (yep, I ran from police), Unlawful Disclosure of Intimate Visual Material (revenge porn as it’s often termed), and Possession of Lewd Visual Material Depicting a Minor (not as bad as it sounds). Wow, that’s quite a bit for a first-timer – but I mean, if you’re going to do something, go all out, right? All of those charges are pretty self-explanatory – 1) I stalked my ex-girlfriend because I was emotionally distraught and needed her to acknowledge me so that I could feel validated due to my unaddressed codependency. 2) I violated the protective order placed on me by a judge after the arrest and while out on bond. 3) Upon violating the protective order, an officer was waiting on me and then when he attempted to place me in custody, I ran like a coward. 4) In an effort to get her attention and express my love, I posted a few x-rated videos of me and my ex onto Facebook and other places. This was a bad idea and unfortunately it did get some attention…all bad. 5) Finally, the charge that may make you raise an eyebrow – Lewd Visual Material Depicting a Minor – CLARIFICATION : these were not pornographic images, simply images of a female minor in suggestive poses, much like the selfies you might often see posted to Instagram or tiktok (I don’t see either of these platforms being taken to court by The State of Texas for currently distributing the same thing). These five images were among many legal pictures I had on my phone that I had collected over time during my social media and pornography binging. This charge is not a sex offense and really caused some unnecessary negative coverage of my situation, in fact, the media reported inaccurate information at that time regarding my charges which to this day is still reflected. I’ll cover this aspect of my case in more detail, later on. In the end, I was convicted of Stalking and the Lewd Imagery in exchange for having the "revenge porn" charges dropped, which is good because that IS a sex charge, although not many people realize it.

 I welcome you to check the Texas State Registry and notate my absence, if you’re one of those types who gets hung up over things like that.

https://sor.dps.texas.gov/Search

My reasons for deciding to do a blog were not simply to detail my life story and epic screw-up, but instead to bridge the divide, at least somewhat, between the expectation of Prisonlandia and actualization of being there. In addition to having a little fun, I also wanted to address some issues that I observed while on my trip. The reason I refer to Prison as Prisonlandia is because I approached my sentence as though I had unwillingly traveled to a distant country where I was stuck, all flights canceled, and I didn’t understand the culture or inhabitants. So, I did what seemed to be the most logical thing – learn as much as I can, fit in as much as possible, and use all the collected knowledge to my benefit. Additionally, I viewed my incarceration as a chance to see the “other side” and it was the final step in my law enforcement training. That may sound funny to some (especially LEO’s) but think about it. If you were to write a book on all the possible experiences that you could have in the United States, would you only cover half of the country? You would have an incomplete story. The only way to fully understand anything is to see both sides and to fully immerse yourself not only into the enjoyable things but also the unenjoyable ones as well; this is the only true path to empathy and understanding.

My hope is that you can use the information contained herein as an inspiration to stay away from Prisonlandia or if unavoidable, as a positive means to understand the landscape if you find yourself stranded there. Just remember, the crazy thing about Prisonlandia is this – the worst trip of your life can be the best thing that ever happened to you, if you own your experience instead of letting it own you.